Lets take it from the top...

So hubby and I got married on 20th June 2008, I was so naive in saying I didn't want to TTC (try to conceive) until after the wedding as I wanted to fit into my dress and not feel ill etc. Oh so naive.

So I came off the contraceptive pill on 21st August 2008 and wonderfully I got a BFP (big fat positive - pregnancy test) on 19th November 2008! Had some spotting 15th December and had a scan on 16th December and they thought all seemed fine got a nice wee picture of my baby bean. Then on Christmas day I felt really strange all day and by Boxing day I was bleeding again and a scan showed baby had stopped growing 2 weeks previously and there was no heartbeat.  This is known as an MMC (missed miscarriage) After a rather awkward chat with a German nurse who was no help whatsoever I decided to opt for natural MC as to be honest I had no idea what the other options were and what they involved! Thankfully found message board on ivillage which was fab and informative and I learned so much about what I was going through physically.  10th January and still not over.  Really late into the night I got awful pains and heavy bleeding so bad I literally just had to sit on the toilet and let it pour out. Worried this was not right I text my sister who has also had multiple miscarriages and she told me that didn't sound normal.  I was getting very weak and shaky and felt faint.  I called NHS24 and the man was extremely helpful and told me I had to get to A&E he would send an ambulance, but I wakened hubby and got him to take me.  I cannot begin to describe the pain it was excruciating.  A&E were rubbish but luckily after poking and prodding and some painkillers I was sent to gynae where I was told I had blockages and was hemorrhaging so after some manual poking and prodding by 2 different doctors they made the decision I needed an emergency ERPC (D&C) which I eventually got at around 3am on 11th January.  I was very ill after the operation I had lost so much blood and was very anaemic and was on standby for a blood transfusion.  I got a nurse to help me to the toilet and I passed out, when I came around I was so disorientated lying skew-whiff on the bed with oxygen mask on wired up to machines and doctors/nurses all around me it was so scary. Finally I got well enough to go  home but was still very ill for a few weeks.  Finally stopped bleeding on 3rd February and cycles returned to normal almost immediately. 

I got my 2nd BFP on 25th September 2009, bleeding started on 4th October while at a horse show judging Pony Club standing in the middle of a field there was nothing I could do it was just an awful feeling knowing this was happening again.  I opted to try medical management this time which I had to go into hospital for the day and have numerous tablets inserted at various times.  It didnt work. Oh well, had to have ERPC again.
3rd BFP was on 27th April 2010.  With this BFP I was so very ill I was convinced this was the one that was going to go all the way.  I suffered terribly from Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) which is extreme morning sickness) resulting in many stays in hospital on drips and anti-sickness injections and tables. While in hospital I got a scan on 20th May and everything seemed fine and I was 6+5 gestation. Two more hospital visits due to HG then on 20th June (our 2 year wedding anniversary) I started to bleed I should have been 11+5 but when scanned it showed baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks (while I was in and out of hospital being ill!).  I managed to get by being so ill as all I could think of was my baby at the end of it all, yet there was no baby even while I was being ill,  if they had only scanned me again, but nope.  Opted for ERPC again as now I realised this was by far the easiest option (for me anyway) and while in for the operation the consultant doing my surgery told me I would now be referred to her as she is the Recurrent Miscarriage Consultant, for tests. Bitter Sweet really.

So on 1st October 2010 I met with the consultant who scanned me to check for an problems/abnormalities and took a variety of bloods to be tested from both hubby and I.  We decided to take a break from TTC until we found out if there were any issues.Finally just before Christmas 2010 we heard from the consultant that my karyotype (DNA) test showed an abnormality so I was to be referred to geneticist.

This was on 7th February 2011. Now this woman is the loveliest I have met on my journey so far so full of information, kind and caring.  I have a genetic abnormality of chromosomes 7 and 9.  Which means if an affected egg was fertilised and I did not miscarry then the baby would most likely be born with a disability or illness.  Then she explained IVF PGD to us.  We never in our wildest thoughts thought we would be mentioning the IVF word.  But of course we said we would love to be referred for the treatment. At the beginning of April we got our first correspondence from Glasgow Royal Infirmary (GRI) with some appointment dates.

First one was 28th April 2011 hubby had to present semen for analysis and I had some bloods done again.  Appointment was very brief and not very informative.  Back again on 18th May 2011 got my AMH results which were good (I can't remember the level as it meant nothing to me at the time but I will update when I find this out at a later date) this represents the ovary reserve, and hubbys SA was good too. We were then told waiting time is around 2 years as we are in Forth Valley PCT (the good old IVF postcode lottery!). So we decided to stop TTC and await treatment. It is now November 2011 and I am really struggling with the wait, I really don't know how women can do it.

I have started this blog to document our journey through this in the hope others may find it useful/informative and also to help myself by writing it all down.

Thank you for taking the time to read.