Monday 30 January 2012

Feeling Better

Had a nice weekend with hubby, and we also had awesome sex lol! After 3.5 years of baby making sex it is sooo good to be doing it for fun again!

And we are also talking about times when we have our baby in our lives so we seem to be pretty positive at the moment, I just don't want us to pin all our hopes on this then it not to work :-(

Work is still terrible and it is making me exhausted mentally, hubby is working late tonight and tomorrow night so hope to get a better sleep without his snoring!

MrsM xx

Thursday 26 January 2012

Life.....

Well I'm not doing so good this week, hubby and I keep falling out and having huge arguments about really silly things, like last night when we got home and realised I had forgot to put slow cooker on for dinner - really not the end of the world but he went off on one.

Since finding out about our appointments and upcoming treatment I feel like a new woman. Most evenings are spent researching my treatment or acupuncture or vitamins and also washing machine shopping as we needed a new one and I wanted to get the best deal I could. I spent a whole day doing loads of cleaning, tidying etc cleaned the windows inside and outside, cleared out all the cupboards in the kitchen etc you know not the normal day to day housework stuff.  I have been trying to get into a routine with regard to general housework etc but he just can't let me find my way and get into my routine he goes on about how I will never cope when I have a baby and we will have to "get rid" of the dogs etc. 

In one way I can see why he thinks that as I have been terrible for the past few years as all this not being able to have a bably was weighing me down I hardly did anything in the house and went to the stables a lot to try to keep my spirits up. But now there is a light at the end of the tunnel with our IVF coming soon I am really trying and I want everything to be perfect and sorted and in a routine for starting our IVF journey. He doesnt seem to see this. And he doesnt realise that he must have this little fantasy world in his mind nothing is ever going to be perfect and Im sure its not just us, other households are the same as Im pretty certain they are not all domestic goddesses.  I really dont want to lose our dogs they are my first babies and god forbid the IVF doesnt work then I wouldnt have them to cuddle and baby IYKWIM.

He is so head strong and there is just no getting through to him.  It has really upset me. So much so Im thinking are we really meant to be together. Are we doing the right thing bringing a baby into this.  Why can't he just love me for who I am instead of trying to change me. He is far from being a model husband but I accept him for all he is and can only dream of changing him.

Sorry for the rant I am pretty upset and don't know where to go from here. Can't just sweep this argument under the carpet like we normally do......


MrsM

Wednesday 18 January 2012

Paperwork in!!!

Well on Monday 16th January I got a letter from ACS with a screening appointment date is 22nd February!!! Some general forms to fill in and hubby needs to get an NHS card as he doesn't have one.

Still trying to decide on an acupuncturist, so confusing as I live, work and get treatment in different places so no matter what it will mean travelling involved and Im really no good at Glasgow driving. Might go with one beside the train station and cheat lol!

Spent ALL day cleaning the house today I was like a mad woman but I think I'm just getting focused now on our future and the possibility we may have a baby soon, whereas  I had been drifting from day to day, month to month not really caring about anything. Now I feel I can move forward and it is such a good feeling!!

xx

Sunday 15 January 2012

Studying!

Well I have spent all my spare time since finding out on Wednesday, researching and more researching about the treatment and also looking into acupuncture.  I have read so much over the last year about IVF PGD but now it's for real! Eeeek! Have emailed a few acupuncturists lets hope we can work out a way to afford it as I do think it would help massively.

MrsM xx

Wednesday 11 January 2012

11th January 2012 - Could this be our year?!

Well what a day!

I have recently been suffering from extremely bad period pain and heavy periods, also very tender boobs all the way from just before OV until AF and I just couldn't take it any longer, today I had had enough.  So before calling the GP to make an appointment I thought I had better call the hospital PGD coordinator first.  Oh my she was sooo nice.  I must have had some sort of psychic moment as she had my file in front of her when I called! All my work up is complete and she was basically fitting in appointments for me and 6 people before me and she said I will probably be April (start of new financial year). I was sooo excited I was over the moon.  Called hubby straight away and told him but he went quiet finally I realised he was crying with tears of joy!

So needless to say we are very happy tonight but need to get to grips with the fact that this is now becoming a reality :-)

MrsM xx