Monday, 27 August 2012

Wed 8th/Thur9th August - Scary Times

Well on Tuesday DH had me up all night as he was suffering from acid.  He has a hiatus hernia so if often bothered with acid.  so on Wednesday night he still wasn't feeling well and was snoring so I couldnt get to sleep, at midnight I gave up and went to spare room.  Was finally falling asleep and Dh woke me up, said I would have to take him to hospital. It was 1am. I was not amused. Threw some jogging trousers and a work top on, with trainers and Berghaus jacket (yes I looked a complete state). Sorted out the dogs and off we went to A&E. Took us just over 20 minutes to get there then had a nightmare finding A&E then finding parking, gave up and parked at drop off so I took him in, checked in then I went to move car. Got back to be told he had been taken in and they would come and get me. This was at 1.45am. 2.45am came and still no-one came. I was getting really annoyed thinking great NO sleep before work I am going to be knackered and crabby! Finally around 3am a nurse came and called me through. Was very weird she was asking if I was ok etc and I was just like yeah I'm fine just tired, how is he she said hes doing ok but the doctor will come and have a word with you if you wait here you can you your husband soon.  So I waited in a corridor and then a nurse took me to him. he was covered in sweat, hooked up to machines and monitors, he was out of his face on drugs and smiling at me! Finally doctor came and told me they thought he was suffering from a heart attack so they were waiting for an ambulance to take him to Edinburgh Royal specialist cardiac ward!

I burst into tears! & started to shake. DH was smiling its ok Im fine (yeah that was the high doses of morphine talking) the doctors and nurses were useless didnt tell me anything or help me. I had to ask if I go or drive there etc they said if I have car I better drive or be stranded in Edinburgh. So of course next question is how the hell do I find this place. I was promised directions be printed off. The ambulance guys arrived they were fab and explained everything to me, dead nice guys really helpful, normal and understanding. He said I should leave as they would get there way before me. Still no directions from nurse so I went to the desk to ask they were all standing around in a circle obviously discussing my husband.  I heard a doctor say they needed a cardiac specialist to travel in ambulance. I eventually had to say excuse me and ask for directions and finally they got me some so I headed off. It was 3.30am.  I called my boss and left a voicemail, text my mum and best friend from work. Then I braved the drive to the hospital. I am useless at driving places I dont know and I hate driving the Edinburgh bypass.

All the way there I was shaking like a leaf, all over the road luckily there were no other cars on the road. Kept waiting for the ambulance to pass me but it never did. Got lost almost at the hospital (later discovered I was 100 yards from hospital entrance when I about turned!) phone sat nav took me through a wee housing estate then found it. Saw A&E straight away, got parked no probs, a few ambulances there great. Went to desk nope not there yet.  In the meantime I managed to get a spot under my nose to bleed badly so was sitting like an idiot with blood soaked toilet roll under my nose.  sat there till 5am then asked again if she could find out where he was, crazy thoughts were running through my head. Lo and behold they had admitted him straight to the ward so made my way up there. The nurses were amazing and knowledgeable. I was soooo tired. They set about stabilising DH and his pain. 

We decided I would call his dad at 6.30am as he is normally up by then anyway and ask him to go and see to the dogs.  The ward was CCU (coronoray care unit) and had a lovely relatives room. I had text  his dad saying call me when you get this text.  I went to call him and told him what happened, he LAUGHED! and said Ive been telling him about his weight. I couldnt believe what I was hearing. The first person I spoke to, I needed support!!!! I was seriously unimpressed and got him to agree to go let dogs out. DH was not surprised when I told him and thats why he didnt want to tell him in the first place.  At 7am the nurse said I should go home for a rest and bring DH back some things. I needed sleep, but so did DH too I think. Called FIL to tell him no need to come over but he was at gym so BIL partner (they stay with him) said she would tell him. Managed to get home in one piece, let dogs out for a pee, puppy had held it in I was so proud of him as he has been a nightmare to toilet train. Then I went to bed. had literally curled up in the covers and FIL came in. I stayed in bed didnt even bother getting up. I heard him play with the dogs in the garden though & couldnt sleep!

DH text me around 11am and I woke up so got up - an hour sleep. Hurriedly got things organised in the house, packed a bag for DH, stopped at Tesco and back to hospital. Took over an hour to get there and traffic was a nightmare. Oh also had to pay for parking at hospital, 5 hours was about £7!!

By the time I got to the hospital, around 2pm, Dh had had angiogram and a stent fitted. He was doing ok. Still a bit tachycardic.  How did it get to Thursday afternoon so quickly. Text mum to see if she would make me dinner thankfully she said yes and I got there for dinner around 8pm then home to bed.

They told him he may get moved to local hospital so on Friday I waited for that news.Finally heard no beds in local hospital so staying in Edinburgh.  I got there around 1pm. Then they told me he was moving to a ward in there that has set visiting times so I may have to go home and back again!! Erm I dont think so I was so annoyed.  Luckily the nurse was nice in the ward and said I could stay. DH was in a room of 4 and they were hilarious older men. Proper comics they were I was in stitches at them. At 4pm I left to miss the traffic, mum made dinner again. DH friend from work and his partner went to visit him in the evening which was lovely of them I was sooo pleased!!!

On Saturday morning the doctor said he was v pleased with his progress and he could go home that afternoon so DH said he would let me know when to come for him. So all morning I did housework as his brother was supposed to come see him when he got home. I picked him up about 2pm. He was so glad to be out of there and walk around and get some fresh air.

As we neared home we passed the pub along the road and his 2 brothers and dad were there so he made me stop and we went over to see them before going home, then walked over to BILs house to see SIL (she is a stroke nurse) we had a good natter then finally went home and DH had some rest.

The first thing DH said to me in A&E was, what about our IVF. Bless him.

I had to cancel his appointment for sperm sample for the following week and was told we had to wait 4 months before going any further. :-( Very disappointed. Over the moon that DH is ok but we both wanted this IVF journey over and done with either way by the end of the year so that if we arent going to have a baby then 2013 is our moving on year. I will call the hospital when DH gets back to work to see if we can pre plan dates rather than wait 4months then have to wait as per diary!

DH is doing really good and has lost a lot of weight and is really watching what he eats. I am very proud of him. Its also changed him he is a lot more understanding and loving bless him xxxxx

Saturday, 4 August 2012

Review Appointment

Well on Wednesday 1st August 9.30am we had our review appointment at Glasgow Royal.  And as usual for my trips to Glasgow the weather was awful.  Arrived dutifully at 9.15am.  Sitting in waiting room and nurse comes to tell me we aren't in the book so she would go and speak to someone.  I started to panic thinking we had wasted our time and taken time off work to go there :-(

I was also looking forward to this morning as I was hoping to meet a fellow PGD friend who I met online who had her appointment after me at 10am. She arrived at 9.45am, I still hadn't heard anything from the nurse, so she urged me to go and ask.  I did and the nurse said it was fine I was on the clinic list? Weird, anyway!  Had a lovely chat with my friend and her DH and I think it actually helped my DH relax too as he really hates hospitals, he is a mess! And it is the least tense and nervous I have been in that wee room with various couples sitting mainly in silence, it was so good just to chat it out! eventually they took me in at around 10.15am.  There was a doctor, our PGD co-ordinator and a geneticist.  Basically they were happy with our cycle was just bad luck that all 4 embryos tested to have my translocation.  They will not change anything about my protocol so that sounds positive.

Next up for discussion was DH sperm.  Finally managed to get numbers from them which had proved a nightmare before.  Basically last year his count was 124 million and on day of EC it was less than 0.1 million.  He is booked to go in on 16th August to do a sample and it will be stored, just incase when treatment comes around the sperm may be worse again.  Doctor was concerned it may be a medical problem and asked DH if he had found any lumps or anything out of the ordinary, thankfully he hasn't. Then came the inevitable question, did he take steroids! My DH is quite a big guy and he does work out, do weights, and MMA type sports but he does not take anything illegal, it always offends me when they ask that. I am not saying he is an angel, and yes 15 years ago he did take them.

The only thing we can think is because he had been ill around EC, he was run down, had cold sores, was hardly sleeping, that this affected the sperm.  So now I have him religiously on Wellman Conception, Bee Pollen, Royal Jelly, L'arginine, zine, vit C, & Q 10 lol!

I also asked what painkiller i was given after EC as it made me really ill, they told me the medical term for it and now I can't remember what it is, I will have to ask again so I can be sure to be careful of being given it again.  PGD co-ordinator did say I shouldn't have been given 2 of them though she was surprised I wasn't hallucinating!

My last point was to find out more about my translocation as all I know if its 7 & 9! Doctor was surprised as he said they have a lot more info than that on file which I was a bit annoyed about, but the genetics lady was lovely and said she will be happy to research my translocation and write to me with her findings so I look forward to receiving that, hope it's not too long.

To finish up I asked how long it will be until we can get started again. Doctor said as soon as DH has given sample we can get moving but PGD co-ordinator interrupted and said no way as they are full for August and September and it will be end of October, or November. 

The main thing is to get DH sperm back up though but I just feel Oct/Nov is so far away and then into winter travelling into Glasgow, god help me if we get all the snow we had the year before last!! And I wonder what they do if any dates fall around Christmas?!

Went to briefly see my lovely friend and her DH in waiting room before we left, poor them having to wait as they messed up my appointment :-(

So I have had a good few days blow out eating all sorts of rubbish, drinking coffee, coca cola!

Mum took me out to lunch today as DH and my 2 sisters are away to Blackpool (not together) which was nice :-)

Didn't realise how down I had been feeling until today, had music blaring and had a good old clean in the house and feeling so much better!

Work is absolutely terrible, can't look for anything else until the end of our IVF journey, but with any luck we will know by the end of 2012 if we will have a baby or not.

Thanks for reading