Well I'm not doing so good this week, hubby and I keep falling out and having huge arguments about really silly things, like last night when we got home and realised I had forgot to put slow cooker on for dinner - really not the end of the world but he went off on one.
Since finding out about our appointments and upcoming treatment I feel like a new woman. Most evenings are spent researching my treatment or acupuncture or vitamins and also washing machine shopping as we needed a new one and I wanted to get the best deal I could. I spent a whole day doing loads of cleaning, tidying etc cleaned the windows inside and outside, cleared out all the cupboards in the kitchen etc you know not the normal day to day housework stuff. I have been trying to get into a routine with regard to general housework etc but he just can't let me find my way and get into my routine he goes on about how I will never cope when I have a baby and we will have to "get rid" of the dogs etc.
In one way I can see why he thinks that as I have been terrible for the past few years as all this not being able to have a bably was weighing me down I hardly did anything in the house and went to the stables a lot to try to keep my spirits up. But now there is a light at the end of the tunnel with our IVF coming soon I am really trying and I want everything to be perfect and sorted and in a routine for starting our IVF journey. He doesnt seem to see this. And he doesnt realise that he must have this little fantasy world in his mind nothing is ever going to be perfect and Im sure its not just us, other households are the same as Im pretty certain they are not all domestic goddesses. I really dont want to lose our dogs they are my first babies and god forbid the IVF doesnt work then I wouldnt have them to cuddle and baby IYKWIM.
He is so head strong and there is just no getting through to him. It has really upset me. So much so Im thinking are we really meant to be together. Are we doing the right thing bringing a baby into this. Why can't he just love me for who I am instead of trying to change me. He is far from being a model husband but I accept him for all he is and can only dream of changing him.
Sorry for the rant I am pretty upset and don't know where to go from here. Can't just sweep this argument under the carpet like we normally do......
MrsM
Please don't get rid of your dogs, ever! That would be so unfair. They love you for what you are. They will love your child too.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to read your next post that you are feeling better.
But is you ever feel low and need a confidence boost come and visit me. Our flat is far from perfect although we both try our best. Luckily our friends still accept when we invite them :) But I am so sure your house looks a thousand time nicer.
xx Rianon
Aww thanks Ria it really was awful, its hard to believe reading back that we got through it lol. xx
ReplyDeleteUh I just seen this hon! Big hugs to you x x
ReplyDelete