First Childless Night

So Angus stayed overnight with my mum on Saturday 28th September age 11 weeks and 7 days, our first night without him since he was born!

And typically I was feeling terrible with a rubbish cold, so was hubby!

So I dropped Angus off at 4pm he was happy as larry he loves his gran & being at his grans house bless him.

On the way home I popped into Morrisons & bought some munchies (crisps, chocolate etc) then when I got home I ordered Dominos pizza & ran a nice hot bath!  Hubby & I cuddled up watching the film No Strings Attached & I had a couple of glasses of wine that my friend got me as a gift when Angus was born which was yummy.  I thought I'd have missed alcohol more than I actually have.

We were in bed by 8.30pm! I slept in our bed which was amazing & so comfy compared to the spare single bed I've been sleeping in in Angus's room with him.  I had a great sleep but felt absolutely dreadful in the morning with the stupid cold :-(  

Before I picked him up I went to Tesco as they had 20% off clothing and I got in a lot of clothes for his Christmas, picked him up at 1pm.  He was a very good boy for his gran slept well too so he got a glowing report.

It was very strange not having him in the house but I want him to have a wonderful relationship with his gran like I did with my grandparents so I think he may stay over once a month.

Here's some pics from his night at his grans oh & not to forget my sister, his auntie, too lol!

First Giggle

Just need to document that while playing with my mum this afternoon Angus done his first ever proper giggles it was so cute age 2 months.

Changes

Yesterday Sunday 8th September I got my first AF in 11 months! On the Saturday late afternoon I suddenly had very bad diarrhoea & stomach pains, had to cancel our planned first swimming outing for the Sunday just incase but now I think it must have been because of impending AF.  Sunday was also the day I went back on the contraceptive pill for the first time in 5 years!  I am on Noriday mini pill to see how I get on with it but I am keen to have the implant as I know we won't be having anymore babies.

Today Monday 9th September we officially started formula feeding full time.  It is sad but also brilliant.  I cannot believe the difference in Angus he is so much happier & more content than he has ever been which also means happier mummy too!

It's been difficult to blog as the days have been a blur & at times a big struggle but I will try to!

Weights Record

*breastfeeding*

7th July 2013 - date of birth - 8lb 2oz
12th July 2013 - 5 days old - 8lb 6oz (4oz gain 5 days)
19th July 2013 - 1+5 - 9lb 1oz (11oz gain 7 days)
25th July 2013 - 2+4 - 9lb 13oz (12oz gain 6 days)
1st August 2013 - 3+4 - 10lb 1oz (4oz gain 7 days)
8th August 2013 - 4+4 - 10lb 11oz (10 oz gain 7 days)
20th August 2013 - 6+2 - 11lb 5oz (10oz gain 12 days)
29th August 2013 - 7+4 - 11lb 15oz (10oz gain 9 days)
3rd September 2013 - 8+2 - 12lb 6 (7oz gain 5 days) 

*w/b 9th September started formula feeding*

12th September 2013 - 9+4 - 12lb 11oz (5oz gain 9 days) 
1st October 2013 - 12+2 - 13lb 9oz (14oz gain 19 days) - (dropped centiles) 
24th October 2013 - 15+4 - 15lb3oz (1lb10oz gain 23 days) 
5th November 2013 - 17+2 - 16lb4oz (1lb1oz gain 12 days) 
28th November 2013 - 20+4 - 17lb11oz (1lb7oz gain 23 days) 
9th January 2014 - 26+4 - 19lb7oz (1lb12oz gain 42 days)
6th February 2014 - 30+4 (7mths) - 20lb15oz (1lb8oz gain 24 days)

Motherhood

Well Angus is now 4weeks and 5 days old doesn't time fly!

I will start off by saying this has got to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, no-one tells you just how hard it is - I won't lie!  I have found it so difficult at times.

I was hit hard by baby blues which have only recently started to get better, I would literally be in tears a few times a day for no reason at all most of the time.  It worried my husband he was convinced I would get PND.  I spoke to some lovely twitter friends and read up on it and decided I didn't have that I just had ongoing BB.

I'm currently working on a blog about my experience.

Birth Story!

So he is finally here! 5 years in the making!

I was booked in for induction on Friday 5th July at 4pm so we were all organised & geared up, was assigned private room in antenatal ward with lovely big window which was open (perfect as it was the start of a heatwave!) and a phone signal.  We sat in the room for around an hour then my dinner came at 5pm just as midwife came in to let me know that labour ward was too busy so they would have to send me home!  I was absolutely gutted, I was 13 days overdue and I was starting to get anxious.

We had to return to the hospital on the Saturday 6th July at 1pm thankfully antenatal ward was very quiet so we were seen pretty quickly, she examined me and declared me 2-3cm dilated and ready to go and have my waters broken so no need for pessary or gel etc! I sent DH home for food and a rest as it was looking to be a long night whereas we originally thought it would drag on with the pessary and gel.  Mum came in place of DH and typically DH had only been gone briefly when they said they were ready to take me to labour ward!  Cue mad phone call to DH telling him to get back here asap the poor guy.

It was around 5pm labour ward let me have my dinner first then put me on the monitor.  She said I was definitely contracting but I couldn't feel them which was great!  MW was very happy with baby's monitoring.  She then examined me thoroughly it was very uncomfortable she said I was 3cm.  Then I had my waters broken it wasn't sore but did take a bit of time as she didn't think she was going to be able to get it but she did.  Naively I thought once they were broken that was it however for the whole time I was in labour I was aware of waters escaping all the time and I kept having to have pads changed it wasn't very nice at all.

There was a lot of meconium in my waters so I was told although not a great worry we would have to stay in for 24 hours for him to be checked regularly.

Approx 9pm they started the drip to bring on the contractions and eventually I did start to feel them!  I breathed through them and felt I was doing great I was so proud of myself no pain relief at all.  I was to be examined at 1am.  The midwife was amazing, they all were lovely.  So my 1am examination came and I was still only 3cm I think the midwife was shocked too! I was a bit upset as I had gone through all that pain thinking I was doing great to find there had been no change.

It was absolutely roasting hot and the window didn't open and there were no fans available.

I kept going breathing through the contractions, I had to wait for another 4 hours to be examined again.  They continued to increase the drip and the contractions got worse, I started to really struggle.  I had one big massive contraction lasting around 5 minutes it just wouldn't go away I think even the midwife was worried, then they turned the drip back down!

Eventually around 2am I decided I would try gas & air, well I hadn't even taken a full breath of it and I threw up all over the floor it just didn't agree with me so I gave up on that.  I had already decided I didn't want diamorphine as I had a bad experience of it before and really didn't like the way it made me feel, then we discussed an epidural which again I didn't want but I was starting to get desperate as I was in so much pain.  After discussions with MW we agreed to try 1/2 dose of diamorphine while we waited for the anaesthetist to come to chat about epidural.  I was so glad of the diamorphine it really made a difference,  it didn't last for long though.

I agreed to the epidural as I just couldn't handle anymore pain I was really struggling.  The epidural was great and I even managed to doze off here and there then all of a sudden after an hour the epidural stopped working and I was in sheer agony again with no pain relief.  The anaesthetist came and topped up the epidural 3 times but it still didn't work.

At 5am I had my next examination and I was still only 3cm.  They advised me that he was lying side ways similar to back to back birth, and his chin wasn't again his chest so the wrong part of his head was pushing therefore not progressing.  I was devastated I said to DH then it was going to end in section I just knew it.

My body was shaking uncontrollably it was quite worrying, the midwife said it was adrenalin but I swear it was my body in shock!

I was in so much pain, I was finding it really difficult to try to breathe through it any longer then around 7am the midwife brought up the section.  At 8am I saw the doctor who did the section, around 8.30am they took me to theatre, I could barely move I was in agony.  Initially they wanted to top up the epidural which scared me as I knew it hadn't been working so I explained that and the doctor was great she said she would recommend spinal block anyway as it takes the same amount of time so I opted for that.  Oh the relief when it started to work was just brilliant.

At 9.40am Angus Ernest McGhee was born 15 days late, he was very quiet but nurses assured me he was all ok and DH cut the cord.  Midwife was convinced he was over 9lbs but he weighed in at 8lb 2 1/2 oz she checked it 3 times, he was long though.  I got to have a cuddle while they stitched me back up.  The surgery went well apparently and they were pleased.

When we got back up to labour ward I fed him which went well.  I was sooooo hungry I sent DH to shop for chocolate, crisps & a sandwich but the midwife told me not to eat for a few hours as I would be sick.  So I waited.  In the meantime I was very sick and I felt terrible, not to mention that I couldn't feel my lower half!

Mum came over straight away and her and DH had a lot of cuddles with Angus which was good as I felt so awful I could barely hold him.  I sent DH home to freshen up.  Eventually they gave me a stemetil anti sickness injection and around 2pm they let me got to the post natal ward.  I was dehydrated so they put me on fluids luckily I had a cathether in.  From there I began this big scary exciting journey!

Meet Angus:-

40+2!!

So I really haven't blogged in about 11 weeks! So sorry but just feel there's been nothing much to report.  I finished up work on 24th May which has been great!  I had my friends wedding all day on 28th May it was lovely but pretty hard going I last from 2.30pm until 8.30pm which I thought wasn't too bad.  We also had an all day wedding on 15th June the week before I was due but luckily hubby understood that I didn't want to go so he went out to a gig at night instead which worked out well. 

We have been spending so much money buying things, I'm constantly thinking of more things I want/need for my baby.  Only yesterday I dragged hubby to Tesco with me as I just had to buy more newborn size babygros as I was convinced I don't have enough.  It's difficult not knowing what size they are going to be!

The nursery is all done, feeding chair built up and its so comfy I'm looking forward to the hours spent hopefully breastfeeding baby in it. 

Pram was delivered last week although it's at my grans as my mum declared it bad luck for me to have it!

I have the car seat and with a bit of difficulty we managed to get the summer cover on it and I love it.

I had midwife last week at 39+4 and she told me I would have a sweep on 26th at 40+4 if no signs of labour and I will be induced when 12 days overdue.  I really hope I'm not induced as I really want to use the birthing pool.

So just wishing the time away hoping baby decides to show up soon.

I have attached a pic of us at my friends wedding :-) 

xxx

29+3

Well I had my 28 week midwife appointment last Wednesday and everything is ok, had a loads of bloods taken too, blood pressure is fine and measurement and HB fine.  I mentioned my sisters pulmonary embolism and was told they would have to discuss with consultant and they would let me know if they needed to do anything.

On Friday I missed a call from the hospital and my voicemail wasn't set up on new phone so they couldn't leave a message or number but it was 5.30pm so doubt I would be able to contact them anyway.  On Sunday a letter was hand delivered by the hospital advising me of an appointment with consultant for the next afternoon! I must admit it worried me even though the rational side of me knew it was either to do with my blood results or sisters PE.

Turns out it was because of sisters PE and after careful consideration they have decided I should just have clexane injections for 6 weeks after the birth but if I am ever admitted to hospital for any reason I have to have it.

Now I have whooping cough injection to look forward to tomorrow, boo.

Also have to have another glucose test on 22nd April, and have 32 week midwife appointment on 1st May, start antenatal classes on 29th April.  It's all go as they say!!

The past couple of days the ugly heartburn has started to show and it looks like I will have to resort to gaviscon but I hate it! Im trying love heart sweets as apparently they can help!

 

xx

28+2

So I attended the genetics clinic which was running really late and to be honest was a total waste of time.  She didn't tell me anything I don't already know except she did offer to test my mum so I gave my mum the details and I hope she gets tested as then I will know for definite if I got the translocation from her or my dad.

Work finally accepted my leave so Friday 24th May is my last working day and I absolutely cannot wait.

Baby has been doing well especially last couple of days I have had lots of movement and some very hefty kicks and punches!

I have had the first sigh of stretch marks which scared me a little, on my hips and boobs so needless to say I am now using more bio oil than ever!

Gran very kindly paid for us to have a 4d scan but I have to say I was pretty disappointed as we were not scanned for very long at all and baby wasn't in the best position so pictures weren't very good but I will attach them anyway, they did actually look a bit better on the disc.

I have my 28 week midwife appointment on Wednesday so will update on how that goes xx

26+3 (95 days to go)

Well I have been rubbish at blogging lately so sorry!

Nothing much to report really, viability day has been and gone so we are now viable yay.  he has been moving around and kicking me but still has quiet times although I do think it's because he moves position so I can;t feel it as much.

My sickness has been a lot better but still so very tired all the time, I am in bed by 7.30pm every night.  Hubby has been great he did all the housework at the weekend and he has built all of the nursery furniture which is looking good.

I am still waiting to hear back from my boss about maternity leave but I am hoping to finish up in 9 weeks which cannot come quick enough.  I have so much clearing out etc to do in the house to make room for baby.  Clothes clear out will start next weekend as its Easter bank holiday weekend so I will have some extra time.

I went to the stables a couple of weeks ago as I was selling my beloved show jacket and it was nice to be out and see friends and horses but the weather was horrific so I wasn't out for long and hubby was worried about me out driving in such bad conditions.

We had our 24 week midwife appointment and everything was fine there too.

Yesterday I got through an appointment to attend the genetics clinic on Thursday so that will be interesting to see what they have to say to me.

xx

23+1

Well time is slowly passing!

I haven't updated since the end of January I am so sorry!

We had our 20 week scan on 30th January and everything was fine he was very active!

I have still been up and down with the HG but have been better so that is good.

On Wednesday I decided to call triage as I hadn't been feeling baby move much which isn't normal.  They weren't worried as they say he could just have moved so I'm not feeling kicks as much but I went in and they picked up HB on doppler which was great and a weight off my mind!

Typical that ever since then I have been feeling him move as normal lol.

Not long till viability day at 24 weeks! xx

19+2

Well 3 days ago on Friday 25th January we received some amazing news that my balanced translocation is purely carried by our baby, no unbalanced translocation is present.  Obviously best case scenario is that it would be clear, however we are over the moon that we can have our take home rainbow baby and no longer have the future hanging over us.  The only thing is when my baby tries to conceive they will come up against the same challenges that I have :-(

I finally announced on facebook and was taken aback at all of the lovely responses and well wishes from people, the post has 154 comments!

I did find out the sex purely because my DH wanted to and we are excited to learn we are having a baby boy.

My HG has been coming back in the evenings and I haven't been keeping too well but still better than I was previously so shouldn't really complain.

Since we have had results mum, gran and sister have been great wanting to buy things etc.  Went pram shopping on Saturday and found the one which my mum is buying me its the Emmaljunga Edge in black carbon fabric on Duo S chassis, total is £845 and £200 for car seat and belted base for the car which gran is paying for.  I feel so guilty it's such a lot of money but they are ok with it so hey ho!

Our 20 week scan is on Wednesday, 2 more sleeps till we see our wee man!!!

Amniocentesis

Well this morning we set off at 8.15am for the hospital, I was pretty nervous.

Arrived in plenty of time then they doctor took me through to the scan room.  It was a lovely doctor who I had seen before on one of my hyperemesis admissions, Dr Holmes.  He didn't waste any time and got right down to scanning where we saw a lovely strong heart beat I was so relieved as part of me thought it wasn;t going to be there. 

When he put the needle in it was a lot sorer than I thought it was going to be and I did struggle to stay still but I couldn't look as he extracted the amniotic fluid, hubby said he took quite a lot.  When he finally removed the needle he rescanned me and said there was still plenty of fluid around the baby.  he also pointed out our baby's stomach and lungs and showed us its face eyes and the lens in its eye it was very interesting.

I was still a bit sore and went to bed when I got home for a lie down and slept for 2 hours.

Will get a call with some results in a few days but the main important one will be in about 3 weeks. x

16+4

Well today I got my flu jag, I hope I don't get ill!  I also had my 16 week midwife appointment where embarrassingly no-one told me I had to provide a urine sample and I was dry so couldn't provide one :-(.  we had a brief chat she checked my blood pressure and measured my bump too.

So amniocentesis is on Friday (2 more sleeps) I am looking forward to the scan to see baby again but I am also worried they won't find a heartbeat.  I am also worried about the actual test and the results too and can't believe you have to wait for 3 weeks for the results!  This test will tell us if my baby is free from my translocation, a carrier like myself, or unbalanced which is the worst case scenario and may results in a termination.  It doesn't bear thinking about really.

Good news is I am gradually feeling better as the days go on and I have a bit more energy.  I still have nausea a lot and the sickness normally comes in the evenings.  I have a good appetite now and am eating more and more, DH says I will be very fat soon.  My specialities this week are Pennstate sour cream pretzels and salt and vinegar mini chips the KP crisps, not to mention Malteser Bunnies!!!!

I am not sleeping very well which is a pain considering I am so tired, I can't seem to settle and quote often take myself to the spare room to try to relax in there but it's a cold room brrr.

I made my first baby purchases! Amazing January sales deals on Kiddicare all Avent, steriliser, breast pump and starter set of bottles.  I have also found the pram I want but DH doesnt want to make anymore purchases until after amnio results!

xxx